Still Standing.
“She was fury, she was wrath, she was vengeance.”
How are you? you ask
Still standing, I say
what makes the difference
the real deal probably
Is, I live it up as well
I was told on my face
broken by a fleeting human
“you said you were strong,
so you move on faster.
look at me, here I struggle,
what do you have to know”
I tell myself, oh yes look
I am still standing,
while you ask me how to live
up to your grave-doings, &
I send you Tony Robbins links
Your dreams of healing,
recovery far away, out of reach
painful mistakes, unapologetic
errors humongous, not forgiven,
A well-played game- I tugged,
you tore my heart right out
of my chest, you won
you smiled, you cried
and you lied, & I smitten
by your promises
Apologized, deeply sorry
For dirtying your hands
The blood is only mine.Years later, here I stand
Here I am, repaired heart
brimming with love
holding a human close
drowning him in love.
Every afternoon, like this one
my little one off to sleep,
my worries put to rest
I turn the tv on.
Flipping through channels
stopping at none,
I watch you burn.I light a candle, &
savor the fun
The bright flames,
of your trial, the
dancing shadows of red,
waltzing with the sunlight
on my ceiling so pretty
high above my head
the hot desert sand
is of no help I see
Can only clog further
your heart space,
probably empty.
How shall I save you,
I pretend to wonder.
I switch off the tv,
get up from my couch
pour me some whisky
Turn around to settle in,
caught midway, a fallen
drop mid-air,
Oh, my darling is home,
shush now, a while,
wheeled into his arms &
embraced in love and the hold,
our sweet sleeping in his other,
he whispers, sweet nothings
into my ear, a tug warm inside
my heart or my bump,
I fail to notice.I pour away my drink
into that burning flame of yours
and look at you on my ceiling.
With your dried blood, I’m
Dreaming of a wall painting
I whisper into the air, at
your last raging flames,
I have healed and am growing
every time with feeling, and yes
To answer your question-I am still standing.
